Wedding Ceremonies: Opening Words

Wedding Ceremonies: Opening Words

The opening words in this chapter represent the attempt by a few persons to speak about the mystery of love. More traditional words in the Christian and Jewish services include references to God. The contemporary examples include some opening words that refer to God and some that do not.


PROTESTANT

In these opening words the celebrant says the full names of the persons getting married. Subsequently in the service the cleric uses only the couple's first names.

Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people. The union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in property and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.

Into this holy union __________ and __________ now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else forever hold your peace.

Then the Celebrant says to the persons to be married,

I require and charge you both here in the presence of God, that if either of you know any reason why you may not be united in marriage lawfully, and in accordance with God's Word, you do now confess it.

Book of Common Prayer


Roman Catholic

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

Rite of Marriage


Jewish

(This passage is also omitted because of copyright protection.)

Rabbi's Manual


Contemporary Opening Words

Dear friends, we have come together to share in the joy of __________ and __________'s love for each other. We witness the celebration of that love in the warmth's of God's presence. A wedding is a celebration of spiritual love, and a covenant to love each other, in the presence of God. I invited you to be at peace, and to listen with your hearts and your souls, to this most joyous ceremony. May God fill your spirit with love and truth. Let us pray.

O God, we gather to celebrate your gift of love, and its presence among us. We rejoice that these two people have chosen to commit themselves to a life of loving faithfulness to one another. We praise you, O God, for the ways you have touched our lives with a variety of loving relationships. We give thanks for your love and your friendship. Renew within us an affectionate spirit. Enrich our lives with the gracious gift of your love so that we may embrace others with that same love. May our participation in this celebration of love and commitment, give to us a new joy and responsiveness to the relationship we cherish. We pray these things, believing in the name and in the uniting power of Jesus. Amen.

Michael Barlow-Sparkman


Friends, __________ and __________ have invited us here today to share in the celebration of their marriage -- their wedding.

We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to recognize a bond that already exists. This marriage is one expression of the many varieties of love. Love is one, though its expressions are infinite.

It is fitting to speak briefly about love. We live in a world of joy and fear and search for meaning and strength in the seeming disorder. We discover the truest guideline to our quest when we realize love in all its magnitudes. Love is the eternal force of life. Love is the force that allows us to face fear and uncertainty with courage.

But, you must "be of love a little more careful than of anything."

For the giving of yourself in love is difficult, for you must learn to give of your love without total submission of yourself. Therefore, in your giving, give your joy, your sadness, your interest, your understanding, your knowledge -- all expressions that make up life. But in this giving, remember to preserve yourself -- your integrity, your individuality. This is the challenge of love within marriage.

__________ and __________, you are marrying because you enjoy each other's company and because you want to be together. You are marrying because each of you can grow in humanity and in love more fully while touching the other. You are marrying because you can be more trusting of life as life mates. Keep this understanding of your marriage fresh and alive in the days ahead.

In marriage a family comes into being. Be joyful in your family. Bring to your family an appreciation of the beauty of each other. Bring to your family a sense of comfort and strength. Bring to your family a joy and thankfulness for being together.

Marriage is a good estate. Bring to it joy. Bring to it the joy of this hour. Bring to it the enjoyment of each other.

Source Unknown


Family and friends of ___________ and __________, we have gathered to witness the promises that this couple have come to make to each other. We join in prayer for their happiness as a married couple.

Marriage is an intention of God for the human family. When God created us, we were made in the divine image, male and female. God created us to marry and conceive children, to live together as families and to learn how to love one another. This wedding of man and woman is a partnership in caring for each other and for children. Mutuality and independence learned in the family are a great strength of human society. From generation to generation we pass on happy family life. It is a great heritage to inherit.

Although married life is not for everyone, it has provided an opportunity for caring and responsible sexual intimacy that can convey love and create new life. Marital union can mediate spiritual unity in a bodily mode that transcends the limitations of speech. In day to day experience a husband and wife can know the meeting of minds, the communion of spirits and the joining of bodies.

David Hostettler


You have come here today from your varied life experiences to make public the commitment you have made, each to the other. You come to combine your two separate lives into one.

Although you will be sharing one life, never forget, you are two separate people. Cherish and affirm your differences. Love each other. Keep your commitment primary. Together you will laugh and cry, be sick and well, be happy and angry, share and grow.

Grow, sometimes together, sometimes separately. But never remain stagnant. Love and life are always changing, always new.

If you will insure a healthy lasting marriage, always, always value each other. Although you will disagree, remember to respect each other's feelings, needs and wants.

And above all, never, never lose your sense of humor.

Joan Kahn-Schneider


Friends we gather here to give our blessing to a bond that growing love and respect has created between this man and this woman. They meet here publicly to affirm their promise and covenant to be husband and wife to each other.

The feeling of unity between __________ and _________ which we here recognize and honor is an emotion that this couple has created out of self-searching and joyful sharing. Their allegiance to each other has grown slowly. So the feelings to which they witness now both unite and liberate them. They base these feelings on love, on mutual respect and acceptance. They base them on the reasonableness of an open mind, and upon the strong belief that the wisdom and insights of a man and woman, which might falter separately, can endure and deepen together.

The marriage that __________ and __________ meet here to pledge is also an ever continuing process, never a finished action. Their relationship will grow deeper through sensitive, humble self-knowledge and through honest opinions and emotions freely communicated. (The children of this man and woman will one day both enrich and complicate their lives.)

So it is our hope for you both that in all areas of your life together you will weave a durable fabric of mutual consolation and support and of help in time of trouble. May each of you achieve the ability to give of yourselves freely so that you will each live better lives and become greater persons.

Paul E. Killinger


Love is a gift

from out of the stars and into your hearts:

from each of you to the other:

from whom you are and who you become to the

wider circle of family and friends

who are your community;

from each child and parent and caring friend

to you, __________, __________;

Love is a gift, a magnificent mystery.

Love is a hard-earned treasure

wrenched from the depths of mortal self-centeredness;

at risk in every open and unspoken conflict;

part of the struggle to give to the other without

giving yourself away;

endlessly demanding of you both repentance

and forgiveness;

every day asking something of you to prove you

are worthy of the grace of such a caring relationship;

Love is a hard-earned treasure, a genuine moral achievement.

Love is a joy

making your eyes light up

and sometimes fill up;

giving you laughter to uplift your souls;

bringing you intense pleasure

at the sound of your beloved's voice

at the very touch of a hand

or lips sweetly embracing;

lifting you from despair and loneliness

to companionship and meaningfulness;

Love is a joy, the richest blessing you can know.

Love is a communion

of your unity with each other;

of your relation to those who are part of

your circle of caring,

children and relatives and friends;

of your feelings for each other

focused in this special moment but enduring

through the past,

in the present,

and into the future;

of our feelings for you

as we have known you,

as we know you now,

as we will know you in the days ahead;

of your ties to the earth,

to air and water and fire,

to worms and winged creatures and wolverine

to woman and man,

to life itself;

Love is a communion, the circle within which we all

live and move and have our being.

__________ and __________:

May all that you are always be in love;

May all that is love always be in you.

May your love be as beautiful on each day

you share as it is on this day of celebration.

Kenneth W. Phifer


My friends, we have gathered today in the midst of verdant spring, a time for new beginnings in relationships, as well as in nature. Yet while the first flowers of spring are gorgeous to behold, compellingly sweet to the senses, we know that it takes several seasons, much tender care and the weathering of many storms for the fruit of those perennial flowers to grow and ripen. Similarly, it takes time for love to mature and reach its rightful completion.

This spring wedding ought remind us that, like the seasons, human life -- the life of the spirit and the emotions -- moves in cycles. To be in loving relationship does not guarantee an eternal summer. To make a sincere and honest commitment does not promise an end to all struggle. What a good relationship does offer is opportunity for renewal. It recognizes the abiding, shared hope that after every winter, spring will come again.

In marriage we make a commitment to weather patiently the cold and bitter times, to protect and tend that original love-seed until it bursts into bloom again.

We are here to celebrate beginnings, and to acknowledge that love, as anything else we would have abide for long, requires sustaining care and nurture. In making this declaration to their family and friends, __________ and __________ express their eagerness to take up this lifelong challenge in seriousness and in joy.

Michael A. Schuler


Dear friends, on this warm and friendly May afternoon, our fondness for two special people draws us here, that we might bear witness to the light that illumines their lives.

My friends, I would suggest that a good relationship must contain two features -- the practical and the transcendent. They must be so integrated that one does not suffer neglect at the expense of the other.

In this age of self-help books and support groups, a good deal is said about the pragmatic marriage. We are reminded constantly of the importance of communication skills, mutual consideration, providing a space for each party to grow and fulfill him or herself. And we are told that love alone won't sustain a relationship, that we shouldn't be led out on a limb by the romantic impulse.

All of this is good advice, yet it ought not lead us to the opposite conclusion -- that love isn't as crucial for the success of a marriage as a no-loophole pre-nuptial agreement.

On the contrary, love is essential, and when I speak of love I mean that feeling we all hope to have that there is someone else in the world whose welfare we are as committed to as our own. And this is what I mean by the "transcendent" aspect of marriage. It is the readiness to come out of ourselves, radically to extend ourselves, for the sake of another. To find this kind of love is, as the poet Evelyn Barkins said, "Beyond the bounds of logic and common sense, it is the gift sublime." And from what I have observed of ___________ and __________, I think their relationship exhibits something of this selfless, spiritual quality.

Sometimes the chemistry of love works explosively, like dynamite; other times it works gradually, more like oxidation. It really depends on the temperament of the individuals and the circumstances of their romance. But it doesn't matter how or when it happens, so long as that miraculous sensation, that authentic ardor, is really present.

This conviction of love makes all the difference in the world, because otherwise we are merely going through the motions of marriage. Granted, love alone is not enough to make a relationship work; but without it all the practical advice in the world is powerless to make our lives any richer, or deeper, or more generous.

Michael A. Schuler


__________ and __________, in presenting yourselves here today to be joined in holy union, you perform an act of faith. This faith can grow and mature and endure, but only if you both determine to make it so. A lasting and growing love is never automatic, nor guaranteed by any ceremony.

If you would have the foundation of your union be the love you have for each other, not just at this moment, but for all the days ahead, then cherish the hopes and dreams that you bring here today. Resolve that your love will never be blotted out by the commonplace nor blurred by the mundane in life. Faults will appear where now you find contentment, and wonder can be crushed by the routine of daily living.

Devotion, joy and love can grow, only if you nurture them together. Stand fast in that hope and confidence, believing in your shared future just as strongly as you believe in yourselves and in each other today. Only in this spirit, can you create a partnership that will strengthen and sustain you all the days of your lives.

Angeline E. M. Theisen


We have come together today in the presence of God to witness the joining of __________ and __________ in holy matrimony. This is a special time of celebration that __________ and __________ will long remember, and because of this, they are thankful you are here to share their joy. From the dawn of human history, it has been customary for the community to place its seal of approval upon the union of two persons in marriage. If these solemn vows that they are about to make are kept faithfully, God will bless their marriage.

Gracious God, before whom we stand: Look with favor upon this man and this woman who desire to make their vows before you and this gathering of family and friends. We are grateful for their families, which have reared them to maturity; and for the church, which has nurtured them in the faith. May they experience your presence as they pledge their lives, one to another, and may they ever walk the pleasant paths of righteousness. This we pray through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Richard Thomas


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Text - Copyright ©1993, 1996, Thomas Roger Fritts

Web Layout - Copyright ©1996, Thomas Roger Fritts

Revised - June 3, 1996