PERSONAL VIEWS ON RECOVERY

PERSONAL VIEWS ON RECOVERY Personal Views Page

(This page will carry from time to time the personal views of some of our members on issues which they believe are important in the recovery process. Our present policy is that these authors will remain anonymous and will be limited to members of the Washington, D.C. Area SMART groups. They do not necessarily reflect positions either of the Washington, D.C. Area SMART groups, nor its National Headquarters. Comments are welcomed.)

A complete list of all previous essays is given at the bottom of this page; you can click on any of these to get the text itself.

What's a D.W. U.?

We all know what a D.W.I. is. Most of us even know what a D.U.I. is. So what's a D.W.U.?.

Probably about a third of the people referred by various law enforcement agencies to SMART Recovery® meetings in the DC area actually manage to derive something from our meetings. They rightfully decide that their conviction (whether for driving while intoxicated, driving under the influence, domestic violence related to drug/alcohol use, or what) has provided them with a "wake-up call" they have chosen to listen to. They've been influenced by some source outside of themselves that it's time to change their behavior.

Good for them. We don't change our behavior ONLY due to a spontaneous 'internal' decision - these decisions are often engendered by society's reaction to our behavior. It's best for us that we listen to these 'outside' voices, after all, whether we think they're right or wrong.

Sometimes, however, the decision is made for purely selfish motives. That is, for personal survival, or at least personal comfort.

Finally, to my situation. After warnings about my somewhat elevated cholesterol &/or triglyceride levels at various times, and having - for short periods of time only - changed my behavior (intake of stuff I just know isn't good for me, mainly) I finally had what I'll call a "heart attack" (they call it a 'cardiac event', because it did no lasting damage to my heart...) on Monday, May 13, 2002.

This I will henceforth call my "D.W.U.", meaning "hey Dummy! Wake Up!"

Although I never smoked more than a pack a day, I stopped smoking cigarettes about five years ago, but allowed myself an "occasional cigar" since then. Well, in a typical case of self-deception, and rationalization--in the worst sense of the word--that "occasional" cigar got to be about four or five a day, on average.

I had about 40 cigars on tap on May 13. I have three left. I will probably smoke one tonight, then one tomorrow, then the last one Tuesday, D-day, June 4.

As far as food, however, this will prove to be challenging. It almost seems that, were I to make a simple chart of foods - those that were "good for me" on the left, and those that weren't on the right - that chart could for me easily be re-labelled as "things that I don't like to eat" on the left and those I do on the right. There IS, however, one exception, one saving grace - over the years I have acquired a taste for Chinese food. I'm pretty sure I'll be eating a lot more of that from now on.

I'm not going to totally "swear off" cigars, baby back ribs, or even cigarettes (I've probably smoked three cigarettes a year since '97). I suspect that many of those who attended our meetings due to a D.W.I. haven't stopped driving under any circumstances where they've had even one beer in the last six hours. Moderation is the key.

There are two key phrases here: "minimization of risk" and "self deception".

I'll never get back to even a cigar a week again, and I'll never fall back on my old habit of eating whatever I want, whenever I want it. And yes, it's for an absolutely, totally unashamedly selfish reason:

I want to live.

This is Essay No. 18, issued July, 2002.

Previous Essays
August, 2001--Book Review: Sober For Good

May, 2001--Painkillers, Anti-Depressants and Recovery

November, 2000--Recovery---Is It Brain Surgery or Bicycle-Riding?

April, 2000--New Booklet on Research-Based Treatment

February, 2000--How Do We Stop Drinking: A Group Discussion

December, 1999--The Myth of "Self-Esteem" and Recovery

September, 1999--Religion and Recovery

July, 1999--Can People Who Are Not Committed to Abstinence Attend SMART Meetings?

March, 1999--Recovery Is Not a Four-Day Course in Rational Recovery

January, 1999--SMART Recovery in a Nutshell

November, 1998--Other Roads to Recovery

September, 1998--How I Re-Thought My Beliefs on My "Alcoholism"

July, 1998--Why Do People Join SMART Recovery?

May, 1998--A Critique of PBS' Bill Moyers on Addiction

March, 1998--Should People With Gambling or Overeating Disorders Be Welcome At SMART Meetings?

January, 1998--Differences Between SMART and AA

November, 1997--Fifty Ways to Recover

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