MOHAWK DADDY made his appearance at the middle of the week in which I created the Series 1 images, at the point that I was ready to shave my head back to mohawk stage. For months I had been growing my hair longer than it had been in years so as to achieve the greatest contrast between shaven scalp and hairy mane, thinking I'd want to spike my hair up, punk-style, into a high rigid fin.
Up until this point the stages I'd shaved my head to had been for cosmetic effect. They were fun, interesting additions to a general effect. The mohawk was different. After the slow process of stripping my head down to this point with just scissors and a safety razor, I ran my hand over the exposed head flesh then grabbed my remaining locks as I regarded my reflection. I felt potent, rebellious, strong, transformed into something different yet elementally myself. The essential unexpressed was now expressed.
Unlike the other characters of the week who were planned to a greater or lesser degree, Mohawk Daddy arose spontaneously out of this intense sensation of transformation. A mohawk haircut is basic, spare, elemental. At the same time, by virtue of being a decisive modification of natural hair patterning, there's a pure ornamentalism about it, a statement that "I honor myself with outrageous decoration, fashioned of my own hair and skin." Accordingly, I wanted to festoon Mohawk Daddy further in a way that was forceful, self-idolizing, aboriginal/ modern. The thin leather belts I'd gotten at a thrift shop and the bolts and washers purchased at our local home supply super-mart were perfect. I knew he should have lots of brutish earrings; in a frenzy of inspiration I fashioned these out of two-inch nails by bending them with pliers.
I loved being Mohawk Daddy. He is an outlaw: at some place inside I am an outlaw, because, as a queer man, my internal patterning is contrary to the rules of conventional society. I felt great relief, fulfillment, potential for abandon in externalizing him. He expresses a shadow self: a true part of me that runs counter to my core identity but who is nonetheless there.
To use the terms of sadomasochism, I felt like a Daddy /Master in this guise. Others have reacted differently. The Consort calls him young Indian brave, though the native American connotations of the Mohawk weren't a significant part of my conscious thinking. My friend Jen said "slave boy," just the opposite of where I was coming from; though perhaps she hit on the duality and inter-merging nature of boy/daddy, master/slave, self/shadow. Each thing holds its opposite.
Being Mohawk Daddy gave me an insight into the kind of sexual self-display that you see from Leather people at gay pride marches. Previously I would have tended to agree with those who say that at public events, where gay life is on display for the broader public, overt expressions of sexuality are inappropriate. I would have said that that kind of expression focusses on the sexual dimensions to communicate that sexuality is all that gay life is about, and that that's not good for "the movement."
Being Mohawk Daddy made me see it differently. It's an identity issue. Now I would understand the self-display as a statement that: "My sexuality is central to my identity. There may be other parts to me, but take away my sexuality and I am not who I am. If you can't accept it, you can't accept me, but I refuse to edit myself when I am in my tribe to suit the tolerance of others."
I can also understand why someone would adopt a nonconformist look as their way of being in the world. It says "I am queer inside. Placing that queerness on the outside makes me complete."
I still feel that sexual self-display is a form of sexual engagement, and to impose it on others without their agreement can be a form of minor sexual assault. But, by that token, we are all being assaulted all the time by the prevailing sexual imagery of the dominant culture.
Images Created: August 28, 1997
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