Beverly's son Mark, age 38, died on Feb. 5 as a result of an accident sustained during a desert wilderness motorcycle race the previous day at Parker, Arizona, 150 miles NE of Phoenix, on the California border.

Later, we were to hear of Tiffany's ordeal. After Mark failed to show up with the rest of the pack after the first 30-mile circuit, they immediately began hearing radio reports of a "man down" on the course. Tiffany went out in the truck to find Mark already being prepared for medivac transport by the emergency medical technicians. Tiffany said Mark was completely unconscious, and she could tell it was bad, but didn't know how bad. After the helicopter took off, since there was no room aboard for her, she had to get back in the truck and drive the two and one half hours back to the hospital in Phoenix without knowing any more about Mark's condition.

We first heard of the accident on Sunday night, Feb. 4. Mark's dad, Wayne, was actually there for the race, and called us from the hospital. At that point, Mark had sustained a massive head injury and was on life support in a coma. As the evening and night progressed, the news became worse and worse, and we learned about 3:00 AM on Monday that he had been pronounced brain dead. However, they were keeping him on life support because he was an organ and tissue donor.

Through the good services of Mark's employer, America West Airlines, Bev and I, and daughter Heather and her new husband, John, were all able to fly out on the early morning flight to Phoenix, where we went immediately to the hospital (St. Joseph's in Phoenix), arriving about 11:00. Mark was still on life support, and Beverly was so thankful to be able to see him and be with him before they took him off the machines. In fact, the people in the ICU were wonderful, allowing the entire family complete access to Mark's room all afternoon. The OR staff finally came for Mark around 6:30 PM, and we all said our last goodbyes.

Bev and Mark's wife, Tiffany, spent the rest of the week arranging for Mark's cremation, trying to take care of Mark's very disorganized business affairs, and planning a family gathering for Saturday (Mark had explicitly requested no funeral or service of any kind).

On Saturday, we all gathered at the desert location where Mark and Tiffany were building their dream house, for a tribute to Mark's life. As you know, he was a pilot, and had lots of friends who fly small planes out of a local airfield. Tiffany is also a pilot, and hangs out with a lot of the same people. The other pilots had organized a small-plane flyover as a tribute. As the first "V" formation of 4 planes flew over, the second one from the right peeled up and away to the west in the traditional "missing man" maneuver. It was truly a moving sight.

This was followed by two more formations of two planes each. Then, the lead plane (a beautiful old yellow "Steerman" biplane) turned and came back over. Just above the house, Tiffany (in the passenger seat) release Mark's ashes, and we could all see the puff of ash clearly, just before it quickly dissapated over the desert. The yellow Steerman turned around again, and came back over the house low and close, with Tiffany waving from the passenger seat. Mark would have loved it!

The universe then arranged for a perfect circular rainbow, all the way around the sun. It was one of the most moving and emotional tributes I have ever been part of.

It was never determined for sure exactly what happend to Mark in the accident. There were no observers at the time he actually went down. He was thrown off the motorcycle during a sharp maneuver which apparently involved a high-speed turn in an area of "whoops" (like moguls, to skiers), and he may have hit the ground, or a rock, or the motorcycle may have hit him after he hit the ground. Of course he was wearing a helmet, but as we now all know, after the Dale Earnhardt accident exactly two weeks later, even a helmet can't protect the brain from the sudden jolt of going from high speed to zero in a fraction of a second.

Beverly stayed out in Phoenix for the rest of the month, helping Tiffany emotionally and with the business details. She did spend a long weekend with friends of ours in Palm Springs, CA, who volunteered to drive over and pick her up. I'd say Beverly is doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances. As you know, she's a very strong and positive person, and she has continually focused on what can be salvaged from this. For example, we plan to initiate some contact with the organ/tissue recipient families through the Donor Network of Arizona. And then there was the memorial party on Mark's birthday, March 3 at Falcon Field near Phoenix.

After the party, Bev and I flew back, arriving this past Sunday. I think being back at home, and away from Phoenix, and Tiffany, is a whole new stage in this process for Bev. As you can imagine, she is dealing with a huge load of grief, and we are both beginning to realize that nothing will ever be the same, and that grief is just a huge long process that you go through, one day at a time. A friend of Bev's gave her a book called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron (a Buddhist nun). One theme of the book is that when we face difficult times, instead of drawing back from the pain, it may be better to "lean into" it. I think Bev is learning how to do that.