WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY
(One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary.)

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway.
I sat down at the breakfast table confident that my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy
Birthday" and maybe even have some little present for me. But she didn't even say, "Good
Morning", let alone "Happy Birthday".

I said to myself, "Well, that is a wife for you; the children will remember". But the kids came
to breakfast and didn't say a word. So I left for work feeling pretty low.

As I walked into my office, Janet said "Good Morning, Mr. Smith - Happy Birthday!". I felt a
little better - someone had remembered!

I worked until noon when Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a
beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, why don't we go to lunch, just you and I?". I
said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all morning! Let's go".

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we usually go. Instead we went out into the country to
a little intimate place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Janet inquired, "You know, it's such a beautiful day, we don't
really need to go back to the office, do we?". I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go by
my apartment and I'll fix you another martini".

We went to her apartment and after we finished another martini, she said, "Mr. Smith, if you
don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". I
replied that I wouldn't mind at all.

She went into the bedroom and in about five minutes she came out carrying a lighted
birthday cake followed by my wife and children. All were singing "Happy Birthday". And
there I sat with nothing on but my socks.

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