By now you probably think we hate you, that we are SO rude because you never got a letter from us last year, even though we got a record number of cards and letters from our friends and family. All our years of tactless letter writing had finally paid off, and in thanks, you got nothing. Was this our response to the pleas of Ann Landers, Miss Manners and Sarah's mother? (Sarah's mother was also annoyed by the lack of a letter, even though, in principle she considers them less adequate than a handwritten note (but now we see where that handwritten note has gotten us, so we are opting for rude and in touch).) And even more amazing is that we were so organized last year that we had written and copied a very nice letter, printed out address labels, stamped the envelopes and then put them all in a big pile that we look at every time we go into the study. That letter is enclosed (although we just noticed that we cleverly (and incorrectly) pretended that it was our seventh, and not eighth, annual letter. Denial is an important part of coping with aging, you know). Anyway, the pile is very attractive. We had to move it when we bought our lovely new house. (See how cleverly we slipped that tidbit in there? Almost like it took us no time at all to find a house that we both liked and could afford. Why, the unitiated might almost think that buying a house is as easy as pie (not that making a decent pie is all that easy). Well the only response we can think of is "Ha!" [Editor's note for those of you living in newer towns: We were attempting to move into an established neighborhood so we did not get to simply choose from a variety of floorplans, pastel color schemes, and shrubbery arrangements].)
"But, wait" you say. " Does this mean that we have sent our card to them at the old address? Does this mean that they couldn't even get their act together to send out change of address cards so we wouldn't have to rely on the post office to forward this year's card?" The answer to this burning question is, unfortunately, yes. And we didn't even buy a "fixer-upper" (well, it was a fixer-upper, but only for the previous owner). Cleverly, we bought a home that is one hour from Sarah's place of work and a similar distance from Alan's place of work. Conveniently located inside the beltway surrounding Washington DC and close to neither of our work places, we have opted for a home that allows us to spend all free time commuting. Excellent planning, don't you think? [Actually there was nowhere we could have lived that was better located--the only alternative was a hellish commute for one or the other of us. We went for the compromise.]
Now about our house. It is much larger than a breadbox. In fact, it looks like a barn with windows (some of those Architect types might call it Dutch Colonial, with gabled windows on the second floor.) It has a large front porch with pine flooring and a porch swing, as well as a back deck. Living room, dining room, kitchen, and combination half bathroom/pantry/hallway are on the first floor; study, guest bedroom and master bedroom are on the second floor (oh, and a full bathroom, in case you need it). It was built in 1908, about a decade before the town of Riverdale was established. You know Riverdale, it is the town where Archie, Veronica and Jughead live. The man who lived here before us (the fixer-upper) is an architectural remodeler, and he made the inside modern and lovely, with just enough of the old for loveliness (original oak banister, big tall windows, pressed tin ceiling and old Hunter ceiling fan in the kitchen, old fashioned gas stove) and plenty of the new (oak cabinets with glass doors, new oak floors in some rooms and berber carpet in others, awesome water pressure, insulated wiring, etc...) And as an added bonus, we get a garage out back with a workshop area! The cats are much happier here, since they get to chase squirrels and mice (Rusty has made sure that our house is rodent free--who would have thought that a 19 year old cat would be such an excellent mouse catcher?) The yard needs some work, but we are waiting to see what it looks like through a full year before instituting a garden plan (although Alan has managed to construct a spectacular compost pile behind the garage). Our neighbors are very neighborly and nice (one of them drove Sarah to the Metro station when she forgot that the car was parked there), and so we are very happy here indeed.
Well, we gave you the schedule for our daily activities in the enclosed letter--it is the same except that now we live four blocks from the train, so Sarah walks home and Alan meets her there. No more waiting or sweating bullets on the beltway, at least about being late.
Other news includes Alan getting a "permanent" job (note for those who don't know about working for the gummint: "permanent" means that they don't fire you unless they run out of money to pay your salary) at the National Institute of Standards, a bezillion friends getting married and/or having babies, and so much job related travel that we won't even mention the Swiss chocolates. Or the Ben Wa balls (ha ha! actually they are "Chinese acupuncture balls"-- you roll them in your hand to "relieve stress". Really. They have bells in them and make a chiming noise. Really. We are not making this up.) The only non-job non-(other people's)-wedding travel we took this year was to spend Memorial Day weekend on Cape Hatteras, where we both learned to windsurf, followed by Alan breaking his toe while grilling vegetables. The carrots scared him on his way down the stairs. We won't mention that Alan asked Sarah how J. Edgar Hoover looked in pumps when we were in a fancy restaurant, and Sarah laughed so loudly (a real suprise to many of you, I know) that the entire room got very quiet.
Right! Well, on that note, here's to the happiest of New Years! We hope you find love, laughter and happiness in abundance. And write or call us as often as possible at 4711 Sheridan Street, Riverdale, MD 20737-1123; (301) 927-7407. Better yet, come visit us--we are very close to both Baltimore, MD, and Washington, DC.