A Sampler of Just ONE of Leftover Salmon's "Dimensions"
-- Bluegrass --
This is the list of bluegrass tunes and descriptive notes that Jeff Wall
<whome@ezdial.com> 0f Virginia Beach, VA, (self-proclaimed Guitar &
Mandolin Plunker, Part-time philosopher, Defender of the Free World, Full time
bad speller, Professional Slacker, and Illiterate Writer) (AND writer of great
humor, I might add - see below) posted on the bluegrass discussion list, bgrass-
l, in late '96. He had originally planned to make tapes of these tunes for
newbies to bluegrass but then thought better of it in view of the obvious legal
problems. Nonetheless, it makes for good reading and will give you some great
ideas for exploring the world of bluegrass on your own. Many of the artists
listed here are gods to Leftover Salmon -- especially folks like Sam Bush, Dave
Grisman, Bela Fleck, John Cowan, Vassar Clements, Doc Watson, Bill Monroe,
Peter Rowan, John Duffey, John Starling, Mike Aldridge, Ben Eldrige, Tom
Gray, and Bill Keith, just to name a few of the folks you'll see below.
If you're coming to Leftover Salmon from your love of the Grateful Dead, you
might just want to start with one of the Old and In the Way albums. Now, you
KNEW Jerry Garcia played the banjo in a bluegrass band BEFORE the
Grateful Dead, right? He wasn't too bad at it either! Check out Vassar
Clements' fiddle work on the O&iTW album below -- heavenly! If you like more
of a smooth jazz sound, any of the Seldom Scene's albums will make you smile.
The Dave Grisman Quintet triple album, DGQ 20, is one of the LoSers' favorites.
There are lots of artists on it that'll give you a chance to expand your horizons
a bit too. If the banjo is your thing, Bela Fleck is a MUST hear. We've also
recommended Alan Munde, Tony Furtado, Tony Trischka, and Tony Rice, as well.
(Looks like we're into "Tonies," doesn't it?) If you want to hear one of the
first bands to take bluegrass in a new direction -- toward where Leftover Salmon
is today -- check out any of the Newgrass Revival albums. If you're looking for
a wide range of artists to explore and like the festival festivities, don't miss
Merlefest in NC in late April and the Telluride Bluegrass Festival in CO in June.
This ought to be enough to get you started!
--------------------------
Howdy Friends and Neighbors,
Welcome to the wonderful world of Bluegrass. I put together a little sampler
for you that I hope you enjoy. I went through my cd collection and tried to pick
out an eclectic range of stuff for your listening pleasure. Have fun and let me
know what you think.
Side One.
1. New Grass Revival- White Freightliner Blues.
From New Grass Revival-When the Storm is Over. Flying Fish 90032
Sam Bush- Mandolin, Slide Guitar, Vocals
John Cowan- Bass, Vocals
Courtney Johnson- Banjo
Curtis Burch- Guitar
w/ guests Kenny Malone- Congas,Percussion
Chuck Cochran-Piano
A Townes Van Zandt song. New Grass Revival is my all time favorite band.
Courtney died recently from lung cancer. Sam and John are touring. More
later.
2. Jimmy Martin- Freeborn Man
From Jimmy Martin's- 20 Greatest Hits, Highland Music DCD 7863 I got this
disc from a truck stop for $10. Jimmy has been making music since the '40s.
He is a past member of Bill Monroes Bluegrass Boys.
3. Bill Evans- Native and Fine
From Bill Evans- Native and Fine, Rounder 0295
Bill Evans- Banjo
Stuart Duncan- Fiddle
Mike Compton- Mandolin
David Grier- Guitar
Missy Raines- Bass
Bill Evans is a Musicologist. That is he is an expert in Ethnic Music from
around the World. He is also the Banjo player in Dry Branch Fire Squad who
richly deserve to be awarded IBMA's Entertainer of the Year.
4. Strange Rangers- Purple Hay
From Planet Bluegrass- PB 1001
Sandy Munroe- Banjo
Dan Sadowsky- Guitar,Vocals
John Sommers- Fiddle
Mark Simmons- Mandolin
Chris Phillips Guitar
Tom Paxton- Bass
Recorded live at the 1992 Telluride Music Festival. Strange things happen on
stage at Telluride. These guys look a lot like a band known as Hot Rize. Doing a
Bluegrass parody of Jimmy Hendrix's Purple Haze.
5. Ralph Stanley- Bootleg John
from Ralph Stanley- 50th Anniversary Collection, Rebel 1996
Ralph Stanley- Banjo, Lead Vocal
Keith Whitley- Guitar, Baritone Vocal
Danny Marshall- Lead Guitar, Bass Vocal
Curly Ray Cline- Fiddle
Jack Cooke- Tenor Vocals
Ed Farris- Bass
50 years. That's how long Ralph's been playing Mountain Music. He started off
with his brother Carter. A lot of Bluegrass Standards are actually Stanley
Brothers songs. And yes that is Keith Whitley who had a bright Country career
going up until his death. Like a lot of Country artists, Keith learned his chops
playing Bluegrass.
6. Old and In the Way- Catfish John
From Old and In the Way- High Lonesome Sound, Acoustic Disc ACD-19
Jerry Garcia- Banjo, Lead Vocals
Peter Rowan- Guitar, Vocals
David Grisman- Mandolin, Vocals
Vassar Clements- Fiddle
John Kahn- Bass
One of the world's first known Hippie Bluegrass Bands from out California
way. You might have heard of Jerry Garcia. He was a promising Bay Area
Banjo picker who threw it all away to make a decent living playing that Rock
and Roll Devil Music. Vassar and Pete had both served time with Bill Monroe.
Garcia said that was his major goal in life. To be a Bluegrass Boy with Monroe.
David Grisman has branched off into the world of Acoustic Jazz or Dawg
Music. This album was recorded live in San Francisco Oct 8th, 1973.
7. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band- Nashville Blues w/ Earl Scruggs
From Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Will the Circle be Unbroken, EMI America
CDPB
7 46589
In the 1971 a bunch of Long Haired Hippie Country Rock Musicians decided
to come to Nashville and make a record. While they were there they thought it
would be cool to have the Old School meet the New School of Country Music.
At first people were suspicious. These boys had a lot of hair and were rumored
to be dope smoking Hippies. Whether that was true or not doesn't matter.
What matters is they made one hell of a double album. Earl Scraggy, Jimmy
Martin, Vassar Clemently, Mother May belle Carter, Roy A cuff, Bashful
Brother Oswald, Merle Travis and others. This should be the Dick and Jane
Primer CD of Traditional Country Music and Bluegrass. This is a Dm tune
featuring that Gap toothed wonder from Carolina. (Not Letterman, he's from
Indiana) Earl Scruggs. Member of Bill Monroes Bluegrass Boys, Flatt and
Scruggs, Earl Scruggs Review and more.
8. Run C & W- Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours)
From Run C & W- Row vs. Wade, MCA Records.
Rug Burns- Guitar
Side Burns- Bass
G.W. "Wash" Burns- Washboard
Crash N. Burns- Banjo
w/ "Fiddlin" Roame Burns- fiddle
Run C&W aka The Burns Brothers are the Worlds Premiere Rythym and
Bluegrass Band playing that Sweet Soul Music the way God intended it to be
played....Bluegrass style. They made a couple of really fun albums.
9. Bill Monroe- Uncle Pen
From The Music of Bill Monroe From 1936-1994, MCAD 11048
Bill Monroe- Mandolin, Lead Vocal (verse), Tenor Vocal (Chorus)
Jimmy Martin- Guitar, Lead Vocal (Chorus)
Rudy Lyle- Banjo
Joel Prise- Bass, Baritone Vocal (Chorus)
Merle "Red" Taylor- Fiddle
The Mac Daddy of Bluegrass. He is in the International Bluegrass Music Hall
of Fame, The Country Music Hall of Fame, and The Rock and Roll Hall of
Fame. Yeah Buddy. Mr Bill started it all. He knocked the Opry on it's butt. He
did it his way for 50 years and those that didn't like it could kiss his ass. Am
amazing writer, instrumentalist, arranger, and band leader. He defined the
Music that takes it's name from his Band. "The Bluegrass Boys". Bill
demanded perfection. Everybody worth a damn in Bluegrass has been fired
from his band at one time or another. It has been said that when Rock and Roll
started in Memphis that all it was was a cross between Bill Monroe's
Bluegrass and Black Blues Music. You can't touch that. This was recorded
around 1949. Bill is gone now, But before he went he left us with something
beautiful. Bluegrass.
10. Seldom Scene-Rider
From Seldom Scene- Live at the Cellar Door, Rebel 1103
John Duffey- Mandolin, Vocals
John Starling- Guitar, Vocals
Mike Aldridge- Dobro,Vocals
Ben Eldrige- Banjo
Tom Gray- Bass
This is the band that brought Bluegrass to town. They were all city folk who
loved the music. They performed in a more Hip style that made Bluegrass Cool
for urban and suburban audiences. John Duffey was a wizard on Mandolin. He
brought Jazz, Blues, and Rock licks to Bluegrass. His sharp wit, playful spirit.
and outrageous fashion sense made him unique in Bluegrass. We recently lost
him to a heart attack.
11. Larry Sparks- Tennessee 1949
From Larry Sparks- Silver Reflections, Rebel 1654
Larry Sparks- Guitar, Vocals
David Harvey- Mandolin
Barry Crabtree- Banjo
Art Stampe- Fiddle
Tim Sargent- Dobro
Larry D. Sparks- Bass
Larry Sparks is known as having hair shaped exactly like the pick guard on
his guitar. He started out in Bluegrass when he joined up with Ralph Stanley
and the Clinch Mtn Boys after Carter Stanleys death. He has a style all his
own. This is a Pete Goble song that reminds me of the old courthouse square in
Lebanon, Tennessee. When I stayed with my Grandpa during the summer, on
Saturdays we would go to town. All these old men would sit out in front of the
Courthouse whittling.
12. Gene Parsons- Drunkards Dream
From Gene Parsons-The Kindling Album, Sierra 6007
Gene Parsons- Guitar, Lead Vocals
Ralph Stanley- Tenor Vocals
Clarence White- Mandolin, Low 3rd Vocals
Vassar Clements- Fiddle
Roger Bush- Bass
Gene and Clarence were in the Byrds together. This song was written by
Carter Stanley about his battles with Alcoholism. When Gene decided to cover
this tune he asked Ralph to sing Tenor. He also knew that he needed Vassar's
bluesy fiddle to get the feeling that the song needed. Vassar is a tremendous
fiddle player. He is also an ex-Bluegrass Boy.
Side Two
1. Sam Bush- Stingray
From Sam Bush- Glamour and Grits, Sugar Hill 3849
Sam Bush- Mandolin
John Cowan- Bass
Jon Randall- Guitar
Larry "Larue" Atamanuik- Drums
Sam founded New Grass Revival of which John was a member. Recently he
has been the Band leader for Emmylou Harris's Nash Ramblers which also
included Jon and Larry. Yes this is the same Jon Randall who recently married
Lorrie Morgan. John Cowan is now the vocalist/Bass Player in the Sky Kings.
Sam has been referred to as the Ted Nugent of Bluegrass. He brings a Rock
and Roll attitude to the music. This tune, an instrumental, is not straight
bluegrass. It is more a hybrid of Bluegrass, Jazz, and Classical. But it ROCKS!
2. Osbourne Brothers- Hillbilly Fever
From Osbourne Brothers- Hillbilly Fever, CMH 6269
Bobby Osbourne- Mandolin, Vocals
Sonny Osbourne- Banjo, Vocals
Raymond Huffmaster- Guitar
Terry Eldridge- Guitar
Steve Thomas- Fiddle
Terry Smith- Bass
The Osbourne Brothers have been playing Bluegrass for 40+ years. They
have never been afraid to experiment with the music to keep it sounding fresh.
They are members of the Grand Ole Opry, but in no way can you consider
them to be playing yesterday's music. Having influenced generations of
Bluegrass Musicians they are still doing it. Bobby's piercing Mandolin, Sonny's
driving Banjo coupled with such killer vocals. They are as hot today as they
were 40 some odd years ago. Sonny is also an Ex-Bluegrass Boy. The Bros also
worked with the Stanleys and Jimmy Martin before striking out on their own.
They have a groovegrass tune which is a remake of their hit Rocky Top called
Rocky Top96
3. Marty Stuart- The Bluebirds are singing for me
From Marty Stuart- Once Upon a Time, CMH 8000
Raymond Lester Flatt- Guitar, Vocals
Marty Stuart- Mandolin, Vocals
Curley Seckler- Guitar
Pete Corum- Bass
Kenny Ingram- Banjo
Charlie Nixon- Dobro
Clarence "Tater" Tate- Fiddle
Once upon a time......Yes this is the same Marty Stuart. The Country Rocker.
He started off playing Bluegrass with the great Lester Flatt. When he was 12
years old! He is about 13 here. Lester was also one of the Bluegrass Boys as
well as being part of Flatt & Scruggs. These were Lesters last days. But what
an education Marty got! He went on to work with Doc Watson and later
Johnny Cash before striking out on his own.
4. Del McCoury-Highway of Pain
From RockyGrass BP 1002
Del McCoury- Guitar, Vocals
Ronnie McCoury- Mandolin , Vocals
Rob McCoury- Banjo
Jason Carter- Fiddle
Mike Bub- Bass
This is from a Various Artists CD Called RockyGrass that was recorded at
the Rocky Mountain Bluegrass Festival in Lyons, Co. Aug 5,6,7 1994. Del
McCoury learned his chops as a member of Bill Monroes Bluegrass Boys. Del
can sing higher than you can get without wearing wings and carrying a harp.
He is also a killer rythymn guitar player. Voted IBMA's Group of the year. Del
and Ronnie are also on the Groovegrass Macarena album. Ronnie is singing
lead while Del, Doc Watson, and Mac Wiseman are doing the chorus.
5. Hot Rize- You don't have to move the Mountain
From Hot Rize- Untold Stories, Sugar Hill 3756
Tim O'Brien- Mandolin, Vocals
Nick Forster- Bass
Pete Wernick- Banjo
Charles Sawtelle- Guitar
w/ Jerry Douglas- Dobro
A Keith Whitley tune. Hot Rize played Hard Core Traditional Bluegrass. They
have since gone their separate ways. Tim O'Brein recently released a CD of
Dylan covers done Bluegrass style called Red on Blonde. These guys were great
to see live. They put on a great show. Often they would be followed on stage by
a Western Swing band called Red Knuckles and the Trailblazers who seemed to
follow them around where ever they went. Their live show has been caught on
disc and even Red and the Boys put out a disc.
6. Muleskinner-Opus 57 in G Minor
From Muleskinner-Popouri of a Bluegrass Jam, Sierra
Bill Keith- Banjo
Clarence White- Lead Guitar
Peter Rowan- Rythym Guitar
Richard Greene- Fiddle
David Grisman- Mandolin.
John Kahn- Bass
Named after a Bill Monroe adaptation of a Jimmie Rodgers tune called
Muleskinner Blues, Bill, Peter, and Richard are all past alumni of Bill Monroes
Bluegrass Boys. Clarence at one time had been offered a job with Bill but
turned it down to join the Byrds. David always wanted to be a Bluegrass Boy.
This band formed for a scheduled television appearance of Bill Monroe in Los
Angeles. It was supposed to be a The Master and his Disciples kind of thing.
Bills bus broke down and he didn't make it. Muleskinner played the gig anyway.
Rock and Roll meets Bluegrass. This is an original instrumental by David.
Listen to the arrangement. Bills Banjo, Clarence's Amazing Guitar work,
Grisman's jazzy Mandolin, Richard's soaring fiddle work. A really wonderful
tune.
7. Here Today-Lonesome River
From Here Today, Rounder 0169
Vince Gill- Guitar, Vocals
Herb Pedersen- Banjo
David Grisman- Mandolin
Jimmy Buchanan- Fiddle
Emory Gordy Jr- Bass
Back before Vince Gill was walking away with all the CMA awards, he had
hair. a lot of hair. And he was a Bluegrasser. He played with Bluegrass
Alliance, Sundance, and others. Like a lot of Hot New Country stars, Vince
learned his chops playing Bluegrass. Listen to him here on this beautiful
Carter Stanley song.
8. Lynn Morris-You'll Get No More of Me
From The Lynn Morris Band, Rounder 0276
Lynn Morris
Marshall Wilborn
Tom Adams
Ronnie McCoury
Bluegrass Music, like most music seems dominated by males. But there are
plenty of talented female performers out there. Claire Lynch, Laurie Lewis,
Sally Van Meter, Hazel Dickens, Allison Brown, Allison Krauss and more. I
love Lynn Morris's version of this Hazel Dickens song. She nails it.
9. Doc & Merle Watson- Hesitation Blues
From Doc & Merle- Down South, Ryko 10008
Doc Watson- Guitar
Merle Watson- Guitar
*T. Michael Coleman- Bass *=I think thats who it is!
*Sam Bush- Fiddle *=I think thats who it is!
Doc Watson, a blind Guitar Picking wizard from North Carolina, was
"rediscovered" during the great folk scare of the 60's. He along with his son
Merle were known for flatpicking difficult fiddle tunes. They covered Bluegrass
and Country Blues equally well. Doc plays Guitar, Banjo, Harmonica, and
Piano. Doc has even recorded a rockabilly album. Merle played Guitar and
acoustic slide guitar. Sadly Merle lost his life in a tractor accident. Doc is still
picking. Doc is also one of the Groovegrass Boys who recently recorded a
version of Deep River Blues with Funk Pioneer Bootzy Collins.
10. Pyschograss-3rd Stone From the Sun
From Pychograss- Like Minds, Sugar Hill 3857
Darol Anger- Fiddle
Mike Marshall- Mandolin
Tony Trishka- Banjo
Todd Phillips- Bass
David Grier- Guitar
An eclectic supergroup whose all instrumental album explores the jazzier side
of Bluegrass. Here they do a wild cover of Jimi Hendrix's 3rd Stone from the
Sun.
11. New Grass Revival-Great Balls of Fire
From New Grass Revival, Hollywood 307
Sam Bush- Mandolin, Vocals
Courtney Johnson- Banjo
Curtis Burch- Guitar
Ebo Walker- Bass
This is the original lineup of Newgrass Revival. They burst on the scene in
1972 playing Bluegrass differently than had ever been done before. Fiery
Improvisations, long Allman Bros type jams. Their album cover looked like a
rock album. Four young musicians with long hair and beards. Quite a
departure from the clean cut tradition Bluegrass Musician. They were able to
attract a younger audience to Bluegrass Music. They covered Rock tunes done
Bluegrass style with the same ease that they played traditional Bill Monroe
tunes. It was because of this band that the term Newgrass was formed. Here
they do a Newgrass version of the great Jerry Lee Lewis tune.
2. Bela Fleck- WhiteWater
From Bela Fleck- Drive, Rounder 0255
Bela Fleck- Banjo
Sam Bush- Mandolin
Tony Rice- Guitar
Jerry Douglas- Dobro
Stuart Duncan- Fiddle
Mark Schatz- Bass
Bela Fleck is a Banjo Superman. Past member of the Newgrass Revival and
now playing with his jazz group the Flectones, he still does the occasional
Bluegrass Album. Here he is joined by the Big Guns of Bluegrass for a spirited
Romp. If you close your eyes you can feel yourself unmercifully being carried
down the raging river toward the rocks waiting below.
I hope you've enjoyed this tape. I also hope you have gained a little more
insight into the music. Bluegrass is not just Great Grandpa's Music. It's
not all singing thru your nose either. It's sweet pure music that will tug at your
heartstrings. It will also kick you dead square in the ass as well.
--------------------------
Here's some more stuff from Jeff:
Subject Help a poor picker out!
From Jeff Wall <whome@EZDIAL.COM>
Date Sat, 29 Mar 1997 09:33:28 -0500
Newsgroups bit.listserv.bgrass-l
I really want me one of those nice Gibson F-5L Mandolins. But I don't make
enough money to be able to afford one. And anyone who knows me well won't
lend me any money
Acoording to List Daddy Frank we now have around 5 or 6 gazillion
subscribers to this list Plus 2 or 3 who read it thru the bit.Listserve on
the UseNet. I consider all of you my friends and family. And if you can't
rip off your friends and family, who can you rip off?
SO here is what I need. After visiting my local music store, I priced a
new F5L. I figure if ALL my friends will send me $2200, I will soon have
enough money to buy one. If I had more friends I could lower the price per
friend. But once people hear me play, I don't see them around much anymore.
So you need to dig deep and send me that money. I got the Mando on hold
for a week. As an added bonus, if you send me the cash, I promise not to
play anywhere around you. That might be one of the reasons I don't have more
friends.
Impoverished Jeff
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jeff Wall whome@ezdial.com
Guitar & Mandolin Plunker Part-time philosopher
Defender of the Free World Full time bad speller
Professional Slacker Illiterate Writer
--------------------------
And for his pièce de résistance, his trip report from his recent
stint at sea with the U. S. Navy (Jeff's full time active duty):
Subject Yer Tax dollars at work.
From Jeff Wall <whome@EZDIAL.COM>
Date Sun, 30 Mar 1997 21:42:42 -0500
Newsgroups bit.listserv.bgrass-l
Greetings Friends and Neighbors,
Here be the semi regular update of my sad pitiful life.
I got home from the big waters on friday. here is what has happened since I
been gone.
We left. we went east then turned south. cool huh. real exciting so far? It
gets better!! We headed down to Florida to play war games. Now I am riding
around on a US Navy Oiler. The only lethal weapons we have are served up for
lunch and dinner. What in the hell are we doing playing war games? If ya
want me to fight, ya should of let me bring the wife along! Then you would
of seen war!
We was told that we didn't get to fight. Our job was to give both sides gas.
That means fuel, not food. we save that gas for ourselves. While we was out
we were playing around Cape Hatteras. And a storm came up. Won't nothing
get
you close to Mr Jesus like a storm off of Cape Hatteras. 60 mph winds and 15
foot seas. yeah buddy. We came across this 40 foot sailboat out in this
crap. Now my ship is 700 feet long. We were getting tossed all over the durn
place. This sailboat was taking a beating. The cat had already lost 3 sails.
His diesel engine wouldn't diesel, and he had no lights. it is getting dark.
and this bonehead is stuck out in the shipping lane where a boatload of
Toyota's is gonna end up running over his ass. We call him up on the radio.
Platte is the name of my ship
PLATTE "this is Navy warship getting ready to run over yer ass"
(I'm paraphasing)
PLATTE "y'all got you one of them lifeboats on board "
SAILBOAT "No, we are complete boneheads and came out here 45 miles
from
land in a little ass sailboat with a busted motor without a lifeboat"
PLATTE "yall want us to rescue you or something?"
SAILBOAT "Nosir, we are complete Morons and we think we should try to
ride this storm out"
PLATTE "Do yall realize that this storm is supposed to get worse?"
SAILBOAT "We do not wish to abandon our vessel"
PLATTE "Have you considered the fact that yer vessel might be
getting ready to abandon you?"
SAILBOAT "Thank ye Navy, but we are total and complete morons and we
are gonna stay out here in this crap as long as possible"
PLATTE "Where are you headed"
SAILBOAT "Nearest Possible land"
PLATTE "Do you realize that with the way you are headed, the
nearest possible land is South Africa on the other side of the lake?"
SAILBOAT "Really? Our navigation stuff kind of got wet and don't
work no more"
PLATTE "Lets see if I understand, you are 45 miles off shore,
yer sails are getting ripped to pieces, your motor don't want to run, you
got no lights, no lifeboat and no clue. Is that correct?"
SAILBOAT "That's about correct"
PLATTE "Are you sure we can't rescue you?"
SAILBOAT "No Sir, we do not wish to abandon our vessel"
PLATTE "Is this a Congressional Junket? Are you a Senator?"
We had to follow this LOSER for 2 days until he got close enuf to land for
the Coast Guard to come pick him up. We couldn't just leave him. If we did,
CNN would of been all over us. I recommended that we run over the guy. Just
to improve the gene puddle.
While we was out we stopped in Mayport Florida. OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY!
Then
we got word that we all had to be back on board by Midnite, and we had to
take a buddy with us. I'm 35 years old. And I have to be home by Midnight?
And I have to have a buddy escort me? What are they afraid of? I might have
a good time? I been cooped up on this ship with these people for 2 weeks. I
don't really care to spend anymore time with them than I have to. I am a
highly trained Electronics Technician, A skilled leader with 17 years of
active service. I let my 12 year old go outside without a babysitter, but I
have to have one! Captain? Can I go pee by myself at least? Or do I need an
escort?
My gun mount broke while we were out there. Me and my compadre went and
looked at it and said "yep, it's broke" he said "yep, we broke it good this
time" it was fairly evident that it was broke. a gun that shoots 6000 rounds
a minute, when it breaks, it's pretty easy to tell it's broke. We found all
the mangled parts and told our Department head we need to replace them. He
said how did it happen.
ME "It broke"
BOSS "How?"
ME "This screw sheared off inside the gun"
BOSS "Ain't there some way to test these screws to make sure thaey are
good?"
ME "sure, put em in a vise ands smack them with a hammer seven or
eight times. if it breaks it was a bad screw. if it only bends, it was a
good screw"
BOSS "Did y'all break it on purpose?"
ME "Sure did. while it was spinning really fast and spitting out
bullets, I made Danny here stick a screwdriver in the top. It killed him,
but I gave him an asprin and he is felling better today"
BOSS "Well I want a Tech Rep to look at it"
ME "What do ya want him to tell ya? That it's broke?"
BOSS "I want a Tech Rep to look at it"
ME "You're the Boss"
The Tech Rep comes out. I show him a bucket full of mangled parts. he says
"DAMN You broke it good didn't you?" Order the parts. We tell the Boss what
the Tech Rep says. The Boss calls for another Tech Rep. This one comes on
and says "DAMN, You broke it good, didn't ya?" While the Tech Rep was
looking at my bucket of mangled parts, the BOSS left to go play golf. I find
out Monday what he wants to do. If any of you out there want to come by and
look at my bucket of mangled parts and give yer opinion as to whether it is
broke or not, come on out.
The wife, Alesia, has a new job. She is a pet pimp. That is she is working
in another pet store selling fish. She is nuts about fish. I go in to visit
and all I see are expensive minners. To me the only good fish is one that's
flopping on the end of a hook. One of these days I gonna want to go fishing,
the bait store is gonna be closed and I will end up raiding the aquariums.
She ain't gonna like that.
The son, Marc, is growing like a weed. he is already 7'2" and weighs about
310. He's only 12 years old. If anyone needs a good plow mule, I'm renting
him out.
That's about it. Life is good. Everyone is sucking air. And John Delgotto at
Sierra Records swears to me that Clarence Whites Nashville West album will
be out in two weeks. He's lying. I love him anyway, but he's lying. He has
it ready to go. the only reason he is waiting is because he knows how much I
want it. It is pure hatefulness on his part. Write him and tell him I said
so. Sierra@sure.net
for those of y'all who care, and those of ya'll that want to send me money,
our address is......
Jeff & Alesia Wall
727 Alder Circle
Va Beach Va 23462
(757) 467 3764
Bye for now
GoonDaddy
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jeff Wall whome@ezdial.com
Guitar & Mandolin Plunker Part-time philosopher
Defender of the Free World Full time bad speller
Professional Slacker Illiterate Writer
--------------------------
If you'd like more of Jeff's humor, check out his new website.