Cocaine for Appletalk is currently nothing more than this readme file.
Update 7/20/2005. This text file is probably now irrelevant to most computer users, however, I regret any confusion
that may have been caused in my plays on words and attempts to be dramatic and entertaining.
Any drug references were meant only in jest and to draw attention to the technical problem I was
highlighting and none of this has any real connection to illicit substances.
I am sure most people understood it that way, but I still feel I was very irresponsible when I wrote this about 10 years ago.
My sincere regrets.
I don't have time to modify the remaining file, but please understand that the reader was assumed to be able to
differentiate the serious technical issues from fictitious and entertaining double meanings/stories.
Last updated 3/25/96
Bill James from the University of Miami was kind enough to explain to me
how this information made his life easier.
Note that this is only a relevant issue if you are on a localtalk network, and only
some localtalk networks at that. (For ethertalk this should be irrelevant)
If you would like an obnoxiously wrapped message to simplify email forwarding, go
here (realize that I may fail to keep this up to date)
I am considering providing graphic depictions (G-rated) of the instructions. If there
is any demand for this, then I may do so.
Some people exprerience REALLY bad networking performance over some networks with
their first generation Powermacs.
We are not talking 'less than optimal' performance here.
We're talking about so bad you'd almost prefer to have a pentium.
If you are not plagued with completely unacceptable networking performance on your
first generation powermac (ie -6100,7100,8100 and some similar models), then this
readme file will probably be completely useless to you so you may as well return
to protesting the Telecommunications Decency Act.
If you are encountering a problem, then continue:
This problem is relevant in my school networking environment (The College of Wooster)
and in some others. You may notice that Network Software Installer 1.4.3, if you're
able to install it, should also deal with the problem. Later versions of Appletalk
will screw things up for reasons explained later in this file.
However you can make these later versions of appletalk not screw things up by doing
a simple hack with resedit. If you don't know how to use resedit, or are an idiot,
don't do this yourself until you've become a knowledgable idiot.
Basically, the ltlk 6 and 7 resources (loaded by appletalk v58.5) and our third party
SCC network hardware just don't get along too well. This was a result of Apple attempting
DMA localtalk for the purposes of being Geoport friendly. The byproduct of this however is really lousy networking performance in some cases.
BEWARE -if you're one of the enormous number of people with geoport modems, this fix
may cause complications for you.
[I'm assuming you're using system 7.5 or later]
Before fixing the problem, you should have a problem.
If your first generation nubus powermac (includes the powermac 6100, 7100, 8100,
and some of the performas) works just fine and doesn't suck at using appleshare,
then don't bother!
If you do have a problem, the problem should be very obvious, so bad you could go
to the bathroom for a number 2 and come back before your computer has successfully
logged on to an appleshare server.
Once you've established that you really do have a problem, make a copy of your system
file/suitcase (same thing). Open this copy (not the currently active system file)
with recent versions of appletalk is not intrinsic to them, but rather is
with the DMA localtalk implemented in the 'ltlk' resources with IDs 6 and 7 and their
bad behavior in the presence of some third party SCC
(Serial Communications Controller) hardware.
These more recent versions of appletalk load 'ltlk' 6 and 7.
Thus the solution is to trick them into loading the code for 0 and 2 by replacing 6 and 7 with
duplicates of 0 and 2 respectively.
(WARNING -Although I've experienced no problems, it is theoretically possible based
on chaos theory that implementing this trick will cause you to be abducted by aliens,
turn that special someone into a psycho killer, make you want to buy apple computer,
cause tensions between you and your relatives, or even cause problems with your mac
for future or even present and past versions of apple networking
ELABORATION on replacement of 'ltlk' 6 and 7 by 0 and 2 respectively for dummies :
Now that you have your system file (the thing inside your system folder that looks
like a suitcase with the name 'System') open with resedit you see a bunch of little
icons representing various resources (actually resource pickers) inside your system
file. One of these resource (pickers) is called 'ltlk' (as in Local Ta L K, or Lazy Trolls
Like Kids). You can quickly select this resource by typing 'ltlk'. After typing that
or somehow or other selecting the resource picker called 'ltlk' so that the icon
is now inside a box, you can open it either by pressing return, or double clicking, or
praising Lucifer. Now you should see an open window with a title something like 'ltlks
(You may wish to make a backup copy of the localtalk resources
so that you can trash the original system file when everything appears to be working
ok, but retain the ability to quickly switch back without reinstalling anything from
an installer disk).
Delete the resources with ID 6 and 7. Then select the resource with the ID 0. Copy
this resource and then paste it. You will be confronted by a dialog box asking if
you want to replace resources with the same ID. Select 'Unique IDs'. It will probably
assign this duplicate an ID of something like '128'. Now select this resource with ID 128
or whatever was assigned to it. Get Info on it either by pressing command-i or by
selecting 'Get Resource Info' from the Resource menu. A window pops up with the ID
number of the resource (128 is my guess, but its whatever resedit picked as the Unique ID
for your duplicate). Change this number to 6. Close the window and you'll now see
in the 'ltlks from System' window the resource with ID number 6 which you just created
by duplicating the resource with ID 0.
Now do the same for the resource with ID 2 copying it, assigning a unique ID, and
then changing that ID to 7. IF you're an ULTRA idiot here's the specifics duplicated
from above with slight modifications:
[begin explanation for ultra idiots] With the resource with ID 7 already having been
deleted select the resource with the ID 2. Copy this resource and then paste it.
You will be confronted by a dialog box asking if you want to replace resources with
the same ID. Select 'Unique IDs'. It will probably assign this duplicate an ID of something
'128'. Now select this resource with ID 128 or whatever was assigned to it. Get Info
on it either by pressing command-i or by selecting 'Get Resource Info' from the Resource
menu. A window pops up with the ID number of the resource (128 is my guess, but
its whatever resedit picked as the Unique ID for your duplicate). Change this number
to 7. Close the window and you'll now see in the 'ltlks from System' window the resource
with ID number 7 which you just created by duplicating the resource with ID 2.
[end of explanation for ultra idiots, return to explanation for just plain dummies]
Remove the system file you were using (the one you weren't editing unless you're a
ultra super duper dummy) and replace it with your edited duplicate (ensuring that
it's now in your system folder and named 'System'.
[end of explanation for just plain dummies]
Restart your first generation powermac that previously had really crumby network performance
especially with appleshare servers, and it should suddenly become a speed demon.
If not, take your edited system file out, trash it and replace it with the previous system
file you left untouched, just for the sake of purity.
UNDOING THE FIX:
If at some point for whatever reason you wish to make your system file back as it
was without reinstalling system software you can either replace the deleted ltlk
resources with their duplicates if you made any. You can drag in the old system file
if you never deleted it, or you can reinstall system software or use a network software installer,
or do whatever you feel makes sense.
Dummies who don't understand the previous paragraph should indefinitely keep the backup
of the other system file so they can throw it back in as they please.
In the future this hack will not be necessary. I was talking informally with some
people at Apple trying to determine what would be the best means of implementing
a solution (not just a hack).
My idea was to allow the user to select 'DMA locatalk on or off' in a control panel
and it was suggested this might be something to implement in Open Transport 1.2 in
Advanced user mode.
In any case, don't expect to see a fix to this problem by the release of 7.5.3 or
OT 1.1 as those products are too close to being finalized for such a significant
Note that there is nothing inherently wrong with atlk 58.5, but rather with the ltlk
resources 6 and 7 which don't get along well with the third party SCC hardware. Using
atlk 58.2.1 (from NSI 1.4.3) however which loads ltlk 0 also works only because it
only calls code (from ltlk 0 and 2) that works in the situation.
My solution to this problem for myself and friends of mine experiencing the problem
in the past has had a dramatic
The description for this hack expects you to be using system 7.5, it might very well
work with 7.1.2, but so would NSI 1.4.3 (which installs atlk resources that load
ltlk 0 and 2 instead of 6 and 7).
Scholars have found this information from the Dead Sea Scrolls:
"The original PowerMacs 6100, 7100, 8100 (PDM machines) have problems when talking
to various SCC implementations that are out there. They used to have problems talking
to 68K Macs (which use a different SCC: ltlk 0 and 2). Apple tweaked LocalTalk (ltlk
0 and 2 to v58.2.2) so 68K Macs can talk to PDMs correctly; this was for NSI 1.4.4 through
With System 7.1.2 and NSI 1.4.3 installed, my 7100 loads the ltlk 0 rsrc when booting
on LocalTalk. It 'should' have loaded ltlk 6. Of course, since I'm now running the
non-PDM LocalTalk on my 7100, everything works fine with whatever SCC-type devices
are on my network.
If I move on to System 7.5 or later or install NSI 1.4.4 or later, my 7100 will now
use the 'correct' ltlk 6 LocalTalk. Of course, I will experience my network slowdown
once again. So, by replacing ltlk 6 with the more functional (in my particular case)
ltlk 0, my computer talks successfully to SCC devices on my (the college of wooster)
The Exciting Story behind the fix:
My original fix, was to replace the atlk resource with the version from 58.2.1 (installed
by NSI 1.4.3 if you had 7.1.2). Later an almost dissected frog told me what was going
on differently with atlk version 58.2.1 from the other versions (namely that it was loading ltlk 0 rather than 6) I also tried reverting to atlk v58.5 while replacing
ltlk 6, with a duplicate of ltlk 0, and this also seemed to work ok. So now as my
current system file contains -i've got the up to date atlk 58.5 resources with the
ltlk 6 and 7 replaced with 0 and 2 as suggested in this readme file.
Appropriately, I saved this frog from dissection and now seek its counsel and technical
brilliance when I'm confused.
If you would like to talk to this frog call 1-900-yer-dumb
what this fix does:
By implenting my instructions you replace the 'ltlk' 6 and 7 resources which attempt
to implement DMA locatalk to be geoport friendly with 'ltlk' 0 and 2 respectively.
You modified the duplicate resources of 0 and 2 to be ID 6 and 7 respectively so
their code would be loaded when ltlk 6 and 7 are called by atlk v58.5. Realize that ltlk
0 and 2 remain in tact, you basically just have two copies of each, one of the copies
fronting as something else.
Have fun, any stupid questions can be addressed to:
John Topping President, Chairman, and CEO of Organized Chaos
This message brought to you by the letters A,T, L, and K, and the numbers 0, 2, 6,
and 7 in partnership with Organized Chaos and with funding from the Association For
Not Killing People.
If you buy computer products please consider shopping from my employer, the Cyberian
Outpost at http://www.cybout.com
Also for tasteless hard core annoying metal in the Ohio area listen to my radio show
Demonic Possession on Saturdays from 8-10pm Eastern Time (20:00 - 22:00 military)
(maybe some day I'll broadcast it over real audio, if so i'll certainly indicate
so on my ill-maintained page at www.his.com/~jtopping (with an http:// at the beginning if
you're a super duper califragilistic idiot)).
If you enjoy this readme file, or use the printout for blowing your nose, please send
tons and tons of money to me.
Apple Stock, a 9500, a Fully configured developers Bebox, cool physics or computer
related books, a DVD drive, or other cool stuff is also acceptable.
While you are mortaging your hose, or car, or selling your hair in order to make these
payments, please send feedback on how this fix works to me at
I am very curious to know how many people this problem effects, and how (if at all)
my solution has helped.
Messages along the lines of
'Thank you John, you are my ultimate savior, I will worship you for the rest of my
life. In fact I'm going to move to Ohio just to listen to your radio show. I was
going to make something of my life and accomplish a great many things, but now that
I've discovered you, clearly I could never be as great. Thus I will become a groupie and follow
you wherever you go. I will eagerly listen to any musical group you form. I will
visit your web page every day and never think 'oh yipee.. another really boring lame
web page by some loser who thinks people might actually want to find out about him'.
I will invest heavily in any company or corporation you form. I will buy any book
you ever publish. I will abide by any grand unified theories of the universe you
are quite welcome, but please also mention the effectiveness of the hack described
in the previous message. Thus the
previous message should have been more like:
'Thank you John, you are my ultimate savior, because your prescibed localtalk resource
modification worked quite well. My 8100/80 on our network here took forever to log
onto appleshare servers. I thought...geez this thing really sucks! Then I read your
readme file and made the changes as suggested. Now it works beautifully. And so I will
worship you for the rest of my life. In fact I'm going to move to Ohio just to listen
to your radio show. I was going to make something of my life and accomplish a great
many things, but now that I've discovered you, clearly I could never be as great.
Thus I will become a groupie and follow you wherever you go. I will eagerly listen
to any musical group you form. I will visit your web page every day and never think
'oh yipee.. another really boring lame web page by some loser who thinks people might actually
want to find out about him'. I will invest heavily in any company or corporation
you form. I will buy any book you ever publish. I will abide by any grand unified
theories of the universe you propose.'
Likewise messages such as
'You f king arrogant piece of sh . Who the f do you think you are? I hope you rot
in he[ck]. Your radio show and your web page sucks, you go amn loser!'
Should be more informative such as
'You f king arrogant piece of sh . Because of your f ing 'fix' my wife is cheating
on me, my nis fell off, I got flipped over in a fourth spatial dimension and my heart
is now on my right side, I forgot the chain rule during my differential equations
test, my computer installed windows 95 on itself, toys R us bought out apple, and my networking
performance is even worse. Who the f do you think you are? I hope you rot in he[ck].
Your radio show and your web page sucks, you go amn loser!'
This message is copyrighted to me John Topping, head of Organized Chaos (with better
quarterly profits than apple -invest now!).
You can redistribute this all you want, but I'd prefer everything remain in tact,
or at the very least that you tell whoever tries this fix to tell me if it did anything
for them (positive or negative) at email@example.com
I will keep an html version of this readme and make any appropriate changes or add
new information to
Thanks and I hope it helps.
Sincerely, John Toppensteiniopolishentarioariuasd
"Last name encyption works"